Today’s title kind of just came upon me. Like so often, the idea just hits and its all I can think about for a while. So, what the heck is a Frenemy? I recall seeing a show on Cable TV called Frenemies, and somehow when I was reading Psalm 27 and David speaks of his enemies, I began to think about enemies. Enemies led me to the thought of what business did David, or you and I have in having enemies? We’ll talk about Frenemies in a minute.
To refresh our memories, here is today’s Call to Worship from David’s Psalm 27:1-6;
1 The Lord is my light and my salvation—
whom shall I fear?
The Lord is the stronghold of my life—
of whom shall I be afraid?
2 When the wicked advance against me
to devour me,
it is my enemies and my foes
who will stumble and fall.
3 Though an army besiege me,
my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,
even then I will be confident.
4 One thing I ask from the Lord,
this only do I seek:
that I may dwell in the house of the Lord
all the days of my life,
to gaze on the beauty of the Lord
and to seek him in his temple.
5 For in the day of trouble
he will keep me safe in his dwelling;
he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent
and set me high upon a rock.
6 Then my head will be exalted
above the enemies who surround me;
at his sacred tent I will sacrifice with shouts of joy;
I will sing and make music to the Lord.
Just awesome! This passage reminds me of other passages like Psalm 23, where David talks of living in the house of the Lord all the days of his life. Except for the enemy business, this psalm of victory is beautiful to my ear for listening to and growing from. It’s the enemy passages that set me a thinking…
Well, what about enemies, and how I’m supposed to love them based on the very words of Christ Himself, and I quote from Matthew 5:43-47;
43 “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ 44 But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, 45 that you may be children of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. 46 If you love those who love you, what reward will you get? Are not even the tax collectors doing that? 47 And if you greet only your own people, what are you doing more than others? Do not even pagans do that?
Ok, so I’m not supposed to have enemies. And that’s not easy! And if it’s good enough for David… Immeadiatly, I begin to look for a loophole in the Lord’s teaching, because at the heart of it, I’m a mess, spewing out nonsense, and self-righteous gibberish to make me feel better, and to justify my unjust attitudes. All of a sudden bam, the term Frenemy came to mind. Maybe I can parse my bogus attitude just enough. Off the hook again. But just to make sure I’m on good footing, I looked up Frenemy. OK, I googled it, and found:
“Frenemy” is an oxymoron and a combination of “friend” and “enemy” that refers to “a person with whom one is friendly, despite a fundamental dislike or rivalry” or “a person who combines the characteristics of a friend and an enemy” The term is used to describe personal, geopolitical and commercial relationships both among individuals and groups or institutions. This term also describes a competitive friendship.
Or how about for a Christian, an insincere or halfway relationship, which is or should be counter intuitive to our faith way of life! But unfortunately, common in the western society that we find ourselves a part of. Back to Google;
Frenemies can be divided into different categories based on their behaviors:
- One-sided frenemy: One also does not show up in time to meet the other’s need and so it is a one-sided relationship.
- Unfiltered/Undermining frenemy: This type of frenemy insults, makes fun of, and cracks sarcastic jokes about the friend so frequently that it gets hard to tolerate. Also, secrets are disclosed in public.
- Then there are the obvious ones; Over-involved, Competitive, Ambivalent, Jealous, Unsure, and then there’s the Passive-aggressive frenemy: Who make mean remarks and give backhand compliments but never directly to the other’s face. They can leave a person feeling confused about whether they have done something wrong.
In other words, the Frenemy thing don’t quite cut it!
Then, almost as if I were on auto pilot, I began to look for another loophole to crawl into, like the worm I am. Approaching scripture like a ball game, I started to go down the rout of numbers, like 3 to 1, and 4 to 3. A tally.
On one side; There’s Jesus, saying to pray for those who persecute me. In other words, even if someone else holds me as an enemy, I can’t hold them in the same way. I have to pray for those people to hear what God has to say and not what I want! Because I’m just as messed up as them, if not more!
On the other side, there’s David. A man after God’s own heart. Solid ground, right? So, I continued my scheming and looked to see if I could get an apostle or two on my side of things to justify myself at least to myself. I was hoping to get a two against one argument… A classic mom against dad scenario. I looked to my favorite for debates and arguments in the New Testament, Paul. If Paul can’t bail you out, no one can. And then I ran into his first letter to the church in Corinth Greece. Reading from 1 Corinthians 1:10-14;
10 I appeal to you, brothers and sisters, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, that all of you agree with one another in what you say and that there be no divisions among you, but that you be perfectly united in mind and thought. 11 My brothers and sisters, some from Chloe’s household have informed me that there are quarrels among you. 12 What I mean is this: One of you says, “I follow Paul”; another, “I follow Apollos”; another, “I follow Cephas”; still another, “I follow Christ.”
13 Is Christ divided? Was Paul crucified for you? Were you baptized in the name of Paul? 14 I thank God that I did not baptize any of you except Crispus and Gaius, …
Paul called for unity back then, and squashed my; I’ll follow the ones I agree with in the Bible defense, in the here and now. So, it looks like my Frenemy plans have withered on the vine, just like my sad attempts to justify my unjustifiable self. And I am left with trying to understand who or what the enemy is in my own life. BTW, Jesus is never outvoted, and never wrong!
I go back to David’s words in Psalm 27 verses 2-3;
2 When the wicked advance against me
to devour me,
it is my enemies and my foes
who will stumble and fall.
3 Though an army besiege me,
my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,
even then I will be confident.
And verse 6;
6 Then my head will be exalted
above the enemies who surround me;
at his sacred tent I will sacrifice with shouts of joy;
I will sing and make music to the Lord.
Could it be that the wicked who advance, and the enemies and foes who surround me, that will fall because of my faith in the Lord, are me? Could it be possible that a lot of the bad people we have concocted in our minds throughout our lives, have been of our own making?
Enemy? What business do I, you, or David for that matter, have keeping enemies? Think about it. I’m not attacking anyone in range of my voice, because I’m guilty of this nonsense myself. Perhaps when David is speaking about His enemies in the Psalms, or should I say, when God teaches us through David in Scripture, perhaps the real enemy being depicted is ourselves.
To quote David some more, recall Psalm 23: 4-5;
4 Even though I walk
through the darkest valley,
I will fear no evil,
for you are with me;
your rod and your staff,
they comfort me.
5 You prepare a table before me
in the presence of my enemies.
You anoint my head with oil;
my cup overflows.
Or maybe one could say;
Even on my worst day, I’m not scared of evil because you Lord are with me. Your swift kick in my backsides (rod & staff) comfort me, because from it, I know you love me God! You prepare all I need to combat my enemies which are;
Lying, gossiping, judging, eating, smoking, TV binging, drinking and drugging to excess. Lusting, coveting, and scheming, fearing, doubting, and seeking popularity and attention, just to name a few. Becuase they are all hardwired into me!
You help me face those enemies God and in doing so, my cup from you overflows new found love and kindness for others who I call my neighbors, who you have picked for me in life.
Maybe, just maybe at the point of this realization… That we are the real enemies of ourselves in many of life’s situations. Now possibly we are ready to walk closer in and with our Lord in this our Faithwalk of life.
Leading me back to today’s Message Reading where our Lord is beginning His earthly ministry of patching up our bad relationship with God because we have been the enemies of God and ourselves since the fall of mankind in the Garden. Reading from, Matthew 4:12-17;
12 When Jesus heard that John had been put in prison, he withdrew to Galilee. 13 Leaving Nazareth, he went and lived in Capernaum, which was by the lake in the area of Zebulun and Naphtali— 14 to fulfill what was said through the prophet Isaiah:
15 “Land of Zebulun and land of Naphtali,
the Way of the Sea, beyond the Jordan,
Galilee of the Gentiles—
16 the people living in darkness
have seen a great light;
on those living in the land of the shadow of death
a light has dawned.”
*Interrupting Matthew to say; let me quote Isaiah 9:1-2;
1 Nevertheless, there will be no more gloom for those who were in distress. In the past he humbled the land of Zebulun and the land of Naphtali, but in the future he will honor Galilee of the nations, by the Way of the Sea, beyond the Jordan—
2 The people walking in darkness
have seen a great light;
on those living in the land of deep darkness
a light has dawned.
Regardless of if it is Matthew or Isaiah hundreds of years before, or me in front of you today thousands of years latter;
People walking in darkness have seen a great light. They see our Lord’s love through your actions and living your faith. When you do, great rejoicing takes place throughout Heaven and beyond, because God’s message is getting through the noise of intolerance, hatred, envy and fear.
When you share the joy, you have found in God with others, you get to lead people with your Lord from darkness into the light which is; life everlasting! And in every iteration, God is consistent in His Message. Finally, today’s message reading in Matthew ends at verse 17;
17 From that time on Jesus began to preach, “Repent, for the kingdom of heaven has come near.”
Our Lord continues to proclaim that the kingdom of heaven has come near, through you, each time you live your faith. Although all of you are charged to read scripture, you don’t need to be able to quote scripture out of your head and debate with the demons from hell to be a good witness for Jesus. You just need to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with your God. I would add joyfully for emphasis, because you are indeed royalty in the making, and have no need for, and are better than keeping enemies, when you are in Him. Your Lord can carry the burden all of creation’s enemies as they exist. Freeing you up to love Him with everything and your neighbors as he picks them.
Today we have talked about living our faith by not holding enemies and frenemies, but what is even more important is our patching things up through forgiving, forgetting, and thereby freeing up our very being to be even closer to our Lord. That’s when we will understand; Enemy, Frenemy and; The Nonsense thereof!
My hope and prayer for you, is that you will continue to fight the good fight against the enemy, that often lies within us and not from others.
Amen!
Benediction; Romans 5:1-5,
1 Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, 2 through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we boast in the hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us. Amen!